


Three random words

by lola381pce



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Gen, Major Character Injury, Philinda Bingo, References to Drugs, Some Humor, Three Random Words, aneurysm, fridge, little scientific fact in this story, potato
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-25
Updated: 2014-10-25
Packaged: 2018-02-22 13:58:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2510261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lola381pce/pseuds/lola381pce
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Apparently opiates give Senior Agent Coulson the munchies along with an abstract train of thought, so when he's injured in the line of duty and disappears from the Med-pod on the Bus it's up to Senior Agent May to track him down and work out what the Sharktato represents...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three random words

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on my Tumblr blog (lola381pce.tumblr.com) for the Fanfic Edition of Philinda Bingo at Fuckyeaphilinda.tumblr.com
> 
> As always, the characters belong to Marvel and I'm just amusing myself with them. Thanks so much for reading. Please feel free to leave a comment - I'd be delighted to know if you enjoyed it and to find out what works for you.

“Where is he?” May asked looking at the empty bed in the Bus’s med-pod.

Simmons whirled round and gaped at the rumpled covers and IV line sans patient then at the Senior Agent. She had no idea Coulson was even missing. “But how did he get out? He’s completely doped up on morphine. And promised he’d stay in bed; I told him he can’t move around, that there was the possibility, however small, that it could trigger an aneurysm with the injuries he sustained. I mean I know S.H.I.E.L.D. agents are trained to work under the influence of drugs, especially opiates but  _really_! What is  _wrong_  with you people?”

May rolled her eyes and walked away as Simmons wittered on about gathering together a search party to find him - she already knew where he’d be. If he was on opiates he would be craving something sugary; Coulson was infamous for having an incredibly sweet tooth but add that to the munchies when he was on meds, there was only one place…the galley. Aaaaand there he was; sweatpants, t-shirt and bandages and what the hell was he doing?

“Daaaa-dah! Daaaa-dah! Da-da-dah-da-da-da! Da-da-dah-da-da-da! Da-da-DAHHHHH!”

Was that…was that the Jaws theme tune? “Coulson?”

He turned to face her with a potato on a chopstick with a carefully carved fin on its back in one hand and a paring knife in the other and huge goofy grin on his face. “Maaaaay!”

May raised an eyebrow at him from the doorway of the galley. Oh crap! Was he stoned!

“Phil, what are you doing?”

“Sharktato,” he told her holding up the potato making it “swim” through the air. Admittedly when May looked at it the potato  _did_  resemble a shark even before Coulson added the fin. However, Sharktato wasn’t really what she was meaning.

“Why are you out of bed?”

He looked at her with a bemused expression. “Why would I be in bed?”

“I don’t know, Phil. Maybe something to do with yesterday’s mission and the bullet you caught not to mention the other injuries after you fell off the roof.”

“OOooooh! That’s right…I’m starving.” May raised an eyebrow at the trail of Pop-Tart wrappers, cookie packages and candy papers strewn around the galley surfaces. She had no idea how he could still be hungry except…oh yeah…morphine! “Potatoes are awesome, May. You can make chips out of them (British and American) and you can print with them and you can power things with them. Do you remember the time you powered a fridge with one?”

She rolled her eyes and tried not to laugh at him. His train of thought when he was high was abstract at best. “I don’t recall ever powering a fridge with a potato.”

“Suuuuure you do. You MacGyvered a potato with wires because the fridge had a light and we got the beer out coz there was a power cut in the safe house and do we have any doughnuts? The mini ones with the powder or maybe the chocolate ones? I can never make up my mind.”

My god! He was right…he wasn’t making a lot of sense…but he was right. It was their second or third mission, ‘The Potato Battery Mission’ Coulson had named it and she snorted out a laugh at the memory before growing serious at Coulson wincing as a sudden wave of pain from his injuries hit him.

“C’mon, Agent Sharktato.” May cajoled him as she wrapped her arm round his good side trying to avoid the bruising to his ribs and back. “Put the knife down and let’s get you back to the med-pod.”

“What about Sharktato…and my doughnuts?” he pouted giving her the big, sad, blue eyes treatment.

“You can bring Sharktato and I’ll see what I can do about the doughnuts.” She ruffled his hair making him grin again.

“‘Kay.”

May stifled another laugh but couldn’t stop the affectionate smile from crossing her face. She’d look forward to reminding him about this one in a few days.

 

**photo source** : Stilesmcalll

**Author's Note:**

> The three random words were provided by my work buddy, Thomo, who took the challenge literally – thank you, Thomo, you suck! Internet research agreed that certain opiates make you high and can give you the munchies…I concur with these findings. Fortunately I wasn’t on them for long but long enough to do a Coulson. Thanks to a recent post by Stilesmcalll of the Sharktato (see the end) which gave me the idea for one of the words and the overall theme of the story.


End file.
